Ups and Downs

The great, wonderful, fantastic news is that our match was finally approved!!!  We were so excited and had so much to do after we received approval that I kind of forgot to blog about it, so here I am, now that I have nothing more to do but wait.  The day we found out we were approved I was completely surprised, because I had just emailed our agency a couple days before asking if they could follow up for us.  I really wasn't expecting to receive such a great response.  I thought we would just be told that they were working on it and that it would be coming soon.  Needless to say, that was a great day!  I was, however, a bit frustrated with ICAB because the board actually approved our match April 23rd but the person in charge of signing off on it was out of town so it didn't get signed off until May 19th.  If our agency hadn't of called, I'm not sure how much longer we would have had to wait to get the actual proposal.  Thankfully we have the best agency and they do whatever it takes to help us and speed things along.  ICAB overnighted us the proposal so we received it on May 26th.  It felt so good to know that Annabelle really was going to be part of our family.  I already knew it in my heart, but to have the confirmation on paper and to know that nothing could stand in our way now made me feel so good and was such a relief.  It also made me so happy to know that Annabelle would soon be finding out that she had a family.

After we got the proposal we each made cards for Annabelle telling her how much we love her.  We sent those along with a photo album that had a bunch of pictures of us, so she can start to get to know us a bit and hopefully recognize us when we come to pick her up.  With Joshua, we were able to send a package because our agency had a liaison in the Philippines we could send it to who could then bring it to him at his orphanage.  We didn't have that luxury this time around.  We can have no direct contact with the orphanage, so the only way to send a package is to give it to someone you know who is going to the PI and have them take it to ICAB for you and then ICAB will get it to the orphanage.  Lucky for us, a friend of Jason's told us that his wife was leaving for the PI in just a few weeks, so she offered to take our package for us.  We have no idea how long it will take for ICAB to get it to her orphanage, but at least we know it is there now.  We really wanted Annabelle to have something from us that she could have with her at the orphanage, that could be her very own, and that she could take with her when we went to pick her up.  We are hoping that will help comfort her a little as we take her away from the only home she has ever known and all the people she loves.  We took the kids to Build-A-Bear the day we got our match proposal and let them pick out a bear for her.  They each got to kiss a heart and put it in the bear for her.  They were all very excited to get to send this to her.  I also sent a disposable camera for the staff to take some photos of her to help her remember her time at the orphanage and all those she loves.  We got a nice photo album from Joshua's orphanage, but every place is different so I just wanted to make sure to have a backup just in case this orphanage doesn't do the same thing.  I'm just hoping and praying ICAB will get these to her soon.

It has now been almost 7 weeks since we received our proposal and we are still waiting for ICAB to send us all of Annabelle's legal paperwork which we need in order to start the visa process.  It is so frustrating that everything in this process seems to take way too long.  I feel like we have already done enough waiting and now here we are waiting again.  Like I said before, adoption is not for the faint of heart, this is a very difficult process that is so stressful and emotionally draining.  No one, except others who are going through this same process, can even begin to imagine how hard it is to just sit here and wait for things to happen that are completely out of your control, while your precious little one waits on the other side of the world.  You already love them like your own.  You have no idea how well they are being taken care of or if they are being loved.  You have no idea what they are learning or, if they have special needs, what kind of therapy they are receiving (if any).  You think about them every day and wonder what milestones you are missing, all the holiday's and birthdays you may be missing and how many more you are going to miss.  You trust that the Lord is watching over them, but it is still so hard.  It is especially hard when you have no idea, really, when the waiting will be over and you will finally be able to have them in your arms.

It is really hard to get excited when you get past one step in this process because you know you will have another one to get through.  I was feeling really down about everything yesterday, especially after hearing about how long some of my friends have had to wait just for their child's passports to get issued.  ICAB can't make your child's visa appointment until they get the passport, so it is kind of a big deal.  I was feeling very frustrated that we were still waiting for the legal paperwork and then worried that after all this waiting that we would then have to wait months for the passport just to get filed.  ICAB seems to be taking forever to do anything right now, so I just assumed that the passport wouldn't get filed for a long time.  I kept thinking that there is no way that we will be traveling in October like I hoped.  We will be lucky to travel this year at the rate everything seems to be going.  Then I wake up this morning with the most wonderful surprise from our agency.  ICAB just sent them an email saying that Annabelle's passport is in process.  What?  They said nothing about the legals, but this was a HUGE relief.  It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I can breathe again.  Even if it takes months, at least now I know that it has been filed and is currently in process.  Now I once again have hope that there is a possibility we could travel this Fall.  I know when you look at the bigger picture, whether we travel in October or January, just a few months difference, doesn't seem like that much, but for a mom waiting to bring home her baby, it is a huge difference.  Now if we could just get those darn legals I would be one very happy momma right now.