Birthday Miracles For Our Sweet Baby Girl

Today is Annabell's 2nd birthday!  It is bittersweet for me.  I am so happy that she gets to spend this birthday surrounded by those she loves and who love her, but sad that we are not there or she is not here so we can celebrate with her.  One thing that makes this more bearable is that we will be on our way to see her very very soon!!!  First let me fill everyone in on what has taken place since I last wrote.  We ended up getting Annabelle's legal paperwork after waiting 10 weeks.  That was the hardest wait of my life.  I just couldn't understand how it could take so long for them to send some documents in the mail that they had just sitting there in their office.  Needless to say, we were so relieved and happy to finally be able to send in her visa/immigration paperwork.  It seems like everything since then has been one miracle after another.  We found out just a few days after sending in this paperwork that Annabelle's passport had been issued.  It only took 5 weeks from when ICAB filed for it.  That was very unexpected because at the time passports in the Philippines were taking around 3 months to get because of some problems they had with their new computer system update and the backlog it created.  Then just a couple weeks later we found out from USCIS that our immigration paperwork was approved (this process usually takes 3-4 weeks and ours only took 2).  Our immigration paperwork was then forwarded to the US Embassy in Manila on Sept. 3rd.

How things normally work from this point is that the Embassy processes the paperwork, which can take a couple weeks, and then they let ICAB know that the child's medical appointment and visa interview appointment needs to be made.  Once the visa interview has taken place, then your child's visa is issued and ICAB will notify the parent's, about 2 weeks later, that they can travel.  The process from immigration approval to the actual visa interview date is usually a minimum of 2 months, so at this point we had it all worked out that we would be traveling to pick up our daughter sometime around Thanksgiving.  I was actually ok with this.  I figured it wasn't too far away that I could handle the wait and would give me plenty of time to get things ready.  I should have known that my timing and the Lord's timing is never the same.

We received an email from our agency last Thursday morning with some amazing news that I am still trying to wrap my head around that it even really happened.  It had only been one week since our paperwork had been sent to the Embassy, so we weren't expecting to hear anything for another month or more.  Our agency director said that she just talked with ICAB and that they were able to expedite her visa process so that it happened before her 2nd birthday.  She had just had her medical that day and her interview would be taking place the very next day which was Sept. 11th.  Jason and I were both in tears, and that's saying something because I don't cry very easily.  That wasn't all either.  It went on to say that a very generous sponsor for her orphanage has decided to pay for ours and her airfare to go there and bring her home.  I really couldn't believe this was happening and am actually still in shock about it.  I had never heard of this happening before except for children who were really sick and needed treatment or an operation as soon as they got to the states.  It was obvious to me that someone had met our special little girl and fell in love with her and was helping pull some strings for us to get her sooner than we ever hoped.  We will forever be grateful to this person, whoever it was, that was able to do this for us and for our baby girl.  I have no doubt that God loves all His children and watches over them, and I know His hands have been in this process from day one.  For us and for Annabelle, this was the best birthday present we could have ever even thought to ask Him for.

We spent all weekend getting things ready to travel because when you go from thinking you have 2 months to prepare to possibly just days or at most a couple weeks, things get a little stressful and crazy.  We just found out this morning that we can leave Oct. 1st.  That is just 2 weeks from today.  I can't even express how anxious and excited I am.  It is so incredible and amazing to think that in just a couple more weeks I will finally get to meet this precious little girl that I have fallen so in love with.  I will get to see her beautiful face, hear her sweet voice, hold her in my arms, and tell her how much she is loved!  Happy birthday my sweet baby girl - we will be there soon!!!

Ups and Downs

The great, wonderful, fantastic news is that our match was finally approved!!!  We were so excited and had so much to do after we received approval that I kind of forgot to blog about it, so here I am, now that I have nothing more to do but wait.  The day we found out we were approved I was completely surprised, because I had just emailed our agency a couple days before asking if they could follow up for us.  I really wasn't expecting to receive such a great response.  I thought we would just be told that they were working on it and that it would be coming soon.  Needless to say, that was a great day!  I was, however, a bit frustrated with ICAB because the board actually approved our match April 23rd but the person in charge of signing off on it was out of town so it didn't get signed off until May 19th.  If our agency hadn't of called, I'm not sure how much longer we would have had to wait to get the actual proposal.  Thankfully we have the best agency and they do whatever it takes to help us and speed things along.  ICAB overnighted us the proposal so we received it on May 26th.  It felt so good to know that Annabelle really was going to be part of our family.  I already knew it in my heart, but to have the confirmation on paper and to know that nothing could stand in our way now made me feel so good and was such a relief.  It also made me so happy to know that Annabelle would soon be finding out that she had a family.

After we got the proposal we each made cards for Annabelle telling her how much we love her.  We sent those along with a photo album that had a bunch of pictures of us, so she can start to get to know us a bit and hopefully recognize us when we come to pick her up.  With Joshua, we were able to send a package because our agency had a liaison in the Philippines we could send it to who could then bring it to him at his orphanage.  We didn't have that luxury this time around.  We can have no direct contact with the orphanage, so the only way to send a package is to give it to someone you know who is going to the PI and have them take it to ICAB for you and then ICAB will get it to the orphanage.  Lucky for us, a friend of Jason's told us that his wife was leaving for the PI in just a few weeks, so she offered to take our package for us.  We have no idea how long it will take for ICAB to get it to her orphanage, but at least we know it is there now.  We really wanted Annabelle to have something from us that she could have with her at the orphanage, that could be her very own, and that she could take with her when we went to pick her up.  We are hoping that will help comfort her a little as we take her away from the only home she has ever known and all the people she loves.  We took the kids to Build-A-Bear the day we got our match proposal and let them pick out a bear for her.  They each got to kiss a heart and put it in the bear for her.  They were all very excited to get to send this to her.  I also sent a disposable camera for the staff to take some photos of her to help her remember her time at the orphanage and all those she loves.  We got a nice photo album from Joshua's orphanage, but every place is different so I just wanted to make sure to have a backup just in case this orphanage doesn't do the same thing.  I'm just hoping and praying ICAB will get these to her soon.

It has now been almost 7 weeks since we received our proposal and we are still waiting for ICAB to send us all of Annabelle's legal paperwork which we need in order to start the visa process.  It is so frustrating that everything in this process seems to take way too long.  I feel like we have already done enough waiting and now here we are waiting again.  Like I said before, adoption is not for the faint of heart, this is a very difficult process that is so stressful and emotionally draining.  No one, except others who are going through this same process, can even begin to imagine how hard it is to just sit here and wait for things to happen that are completely out of your control, while your precious little one waits on the other side of the world.  You already love them like your own.  You have no idea how well they are being taken care of or if they are being loved.  You have no idea what they are learning or, if they have special needs, what kind of therapy they are receiving (if any).  You think about them every day and wonder what milestones you are missing, all the holiday's and birthdays you may be missing and how many more you are going to miss.  You trust that the Lord is watching over them, but it is still so hard.  It is especially hard when you have no idea, really, when the waiting will be over and you will finally be able to have them in your arms.

It is really hard to get excited when you get past one step in this process because you know you will have another one to get through.  I was feeling really down about everything yesterday, especially after hearing about how long some of my friends have had to wait just for their child's passports to get issued.  ICAB can't make your child's visa appointment until they get the passport, so it is kind of a big deal.  I was feeling very frustrated that we were still waiting for the legal paperwork and then worried that after all this waiting that we would then have to wait months for the passport just to get filed.  ICAB seems to be taking forever to do anything right now, so I just assumed that the passport wouldn't get filed for a long time.  I kept thinking that there is no way that we will be traveling in October like I hoped.  We will be lucky to travel this year at the rate everything seems to be going.  Then I wake up this morning with the most wonderful surprise from our agency.  ICAB just sent them an email saying that Annabelle's passport is in process.  What?  They said nothing about the legals, but this was a HUGE relief.  It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I can breathe again.  Even if it takes months, at least now I know that it has been filed and is currently in process.  Now I once again have hope that there is a possibility we could travel this Fall.  I know when you look at the bigger picture, whether we travel in October or January, just a few months difference, doesn't seem like that much, but for a mom waiting to bring home her baby, it is a huge difference.  Now if we could just get those darn legals I would be one very happy momma right now.

Waiting, Nesting, Hoping, Praying!!!

It has been 7 long months since we first found our little girl and we are still waiting.  Adoption is definitely not for the faint of heart, let me tell you.  It is completely emotionally exhausting.  It is especially difficult on people like me who have to plan out everything.  I do not have the most patience, so all this waiting is driving me crazy.  First we had to wait 2 months to find out that the Philippines would put Annabelle on hold for us.  That was 2 months of waking up every morning with the hope "today is going to be the day we finally find out if this precious little one is going to be joining our family" and going to bed every night with the disappointment and discouragement that we still did not have an answer.  Then we had 2 months of paperwork and appointments, which at the time seemed hard, but was nothing in comparison to all the waiting we have had to do.  At least most of that was in our hands and we had complete control on how fast it got done.  Then we had to wait for our I-800a paperwork to be approved, which we had some delays with but finally got approved as you read in my last post.

Now we are currently waiting for the Philippines to approve our match and send us our official placement proposal for Annabelle.  The first couple months of this part of the wait were easy because I was not expecting to hear anything, but the last couple weeks have been agonizing.  It has now been over 3 months and still nothing.  It wouldn't be so bad if I at least had a clue of when we would be hearing something, but there is just no telling.  I know someone who requested their match the month before us and are still waiting and then someone else who turned their paperwork in a week after us who got their match a couple weeks ago.  I know it should be happening soon, so every week I begin the week thinking "this is going to be our week" and then Friday comes along (I am really beginning to hate Fridays) and I end the day in disappointment knowing that I will have another week to get through.  Then I have days like today where I find out that ICAB has hired a whole new board of directors and will be out of the office all week for training.  Now I can't even hope to find out this week.  I know we and Annabelle are in the Lord's hands, but some weeks are definitely harder than others.  Mother's Day was especially rough - having a little one on the other side of the world who doesn't even know she has a mommy yet.  I got through it though, just like I know I'll get through this week and the next and the next, one week at a time.

They say that when you are pregnant you go through a nesting phase where you all of a sudden get a burst of energy for days and organize and clean a bunch of things.  Well, I think the nesting phase happens with adoption also but is even worse because we have to find things to do to keep our minds off of all the waiting or we would go crazy.  The busier you are, the faster the time goes by.  I know I am driving Jason and the kids crazy with all of my organizing and decluttering.  I have organized and gotten rid of so many things that if we don't get our match soon there is going to be nothing left in our house.  At least the girls will be out of school soon for the summer, so I'm sure we'll be able to find lots to do to keep busy.

My biggest wish was to get Annabelle home before her 2nd birthday, which is the middle of September, but that does not look like it will be possible now.  That makes me sad, but I realize that she is still young enough that she is not going to know the difference if we celebrate it whenever it is we end up bringing her home.  I am learning more and more throughout this process, just like with Joshua's, to just turn everything over to God.  That's not an easy thing to do.  It means letting go of all my hopes and expectations and fully trusting in His perfect timing.  He has His reasons for making us wait and as difficult as it seems now, I know that one day we will look back on all of this and it will seem like nothing.  Our sweet little one will be here with us soon and we will love her that much more because of all of this waiting.  

I-800A Approval

Look what we got in the mail today!  This is so exciting and a huge relief for us.  A month ago we received a Request for Evidence form from them, which listed a number of items that were missing from our home study.  We had to then contact our social worker and have her update our home study to include all the missing items.  This ended up delaying us by a couple weeks and we have been praying ever since that the changes made would be enough to get it approved and not delay us any more.  Thankfully they have accepted the changes and we are now approved by the USCIS to adopt a child with special needs from a Hague Country.  Now there is nothing else in our way of getting our official match with Annabelle.

Just a couple weeks after mailing in our Dossier we received an email from the adoption board in the Philippines (ICAB) asking a few questions and also stating that our I-800a was missing.  We haven't heard anything since, but now that our I-800a is approved we hope to be hearing something really soon.  Our Dossier has been at ICAB since Feb. 2nd, so we have almost hit two months of waiting.  Since we were told that it would be a 2-5 month wait, that means we could hear any day now or it could still be a couple months away.  I am really hoping that once we get our match we will be able to receive an update on Annabelle and maybe some recent pictures of her.  I already feel like she is my baby, so it is very hard being so far away from her and not knowing how she is doing.  I feel like a piece of me is missing.  I do feel some peace knowing she is in the Lord's hands and He is watching over her.  It also helps to know that she is in one of the best orphanages in the Philippines for kids with disabilities.  I know they are loving her and taking care of her the best they can.  At the same time, though, my heart will not be whole until I have her in my arms.  Hopefully time will go by quickly and that day will be here sooner than we expect.

Finished!

After just 7 weeks, our dossier is in or hopefully has made it to the Philippines.  By some miracle we were able to complete our home study and dossier in just 6 weeks, which is pretty much unheard of.  I know our agency was pretty surprised when we sent it to them last week.  We have also mailed in our I-800a which begins the immigration process for bringing Annabelle home.  That is also kind of a pre-approval thing which I will never fully understand, but nevertheless is necessary to complete.  After we get our official match we will complete the I-800 which will start the process for getting her visa so we can bring her to the US.  We are really hoping the I-800a process goes quickly, because we cannot be matched with Annabelle until that is approved.  I heard from someone recently who said that theirs only took a month, so that is what I will be praying for.

Now that all the paperwork is done I need to find things to do to keep busy as we wait for our official match.  We are really hoping to hear something by the end of March, but there are no guarantees.  Our agency told us that ICAB is taking 2-5 months for match approval.  That is not exactly what I wanted to hear, but it is good to know what to expect.  I am just hoping and praying that ours will be closer to the 2 and not the 5 months.  At least I do have plenty of things to keep me busy.  I have been learning, or I should say trying to learn, Tagalog.  Since Annabelle will be older then Joshua was when we bring her home, I imagine that she will understand a lot more Tagalog and will most likely be speaking it some.  My hope is that I will be able to communicate with her at a basic level and help her retain some of her native language.  I know the little ones pick up English so quickly, but the first few months can be pretty frustrating when they can't understand or communicate.  Joshua likes doing "Tagalog Lessons" also, but his idea of lessons is to sing songs in Tagalog.  He actually has a few Filipino songs memorized now, so I guess his lessons are working.

Another thing keeping me busy is doing research to find things that will help Annabelle when she comes home.  The greatest help I have had in that area is from other moms who have children with missing limbs.  I am amazed by all the new connections and friends I have made since we started this process.  I no longer feel alone on this journey.  Adopting a child with special needs can be intimidating, but when you are surrounded by others who are going through and doing the same thing it makes it so much easier.  Their stories and experience inspire me and lift me up.  I have been amazed by their kids who are thriving and doing everything that they want to do despite having a disability.  There is one unmistakable connection between all of them that I have noticed - their contagious smiles.  They are the happiest kids I have ever seen.  They don't see themselves as having a disability.  They see themselves as normal kids who just have to do things a little differently.  I am amazed at how they have learned to adapt and have found ways to do whatever it is that they want to do.  I know Annabelle will be just like these other kids.  The first thing we saw when we looked at her picture for the first time was her beautiful smile.  I can't wait to get to see it in person!  We are so in love with this sweet baby girl and can't wait for the day to get here when we can finally bring her home!

Paperwork, Paperwork, and more Paperwork!

It has only been two weeks since we received pre-approval for Annabelle, and we have already accomplished so much.  Because we have been through all of this before, we already knew what things we were going to need to get done.  We are working with two agencies - one in our state to do our home study and one that is out of state that works specifically with the Philippines and will be our placement agency.  We contacted both and were able to talk them into sending us all the paperwork at once and ahead of time, so we could get as much accomplished as we could while Jason was on vacation.  They usually have an order that they send it all in so you don't get too overwhelmed.  Plus, they usually like to have money first before they will send anything.  Luckily our agencies were very understanding and accommodating.  We already knew which things would take the longest, so we got started on those right away.  We have definitely felt the Lord's hands in this process helping to move things along at a much faster rate then we would have been able to do alone.  It just reaffirms to us that we are doing the right thing and have made the right choice in adopting Annabelle.  After just two weeks we pretty much have everything done to complete both sets of documents that we need for our home study and our dossier (the set of documents that our placing agency will send to the Philippines for us).  The only things we have left now are all outside our control, and we will just have to sit and wait for those things to start coming in.  For those who are curious as to what is involved with an international adoption, here is a list of the things we have done or are getting done:

-criminal and child abuse checks from every state and country we have lived in since we were 18
-an FBI background check which we needed a set of fingerprints to accomplish
-had to order certified copies of birth and marriage certificates
-every member of our household had to have a physical/medical report done
-the couple adopting has to have a psychological evaluation done which includes two specific tests.  The first test was 567 questions and the second was 172 questions and took about 3 hours total, including a third test our psychologist added.  We were also interviewed separately for 2 hours each.
-we had to complete a 10 page questionnaire for our home study
-have a home visit from our social worker that lasts a minimum of 4 hours, where she interviews each family member separately and checks out our home (we are having this done on wed.)
-find 3 people to write letters of recommendation for our dossier and 4 people to be references for our home study

That's all the big stuff.  There are a bunch of other papers we had to fill out and/or sign, but those were all pretty easy compared to the things I mentioned above.  Because we have been able to get so much done the last couple weeks, it looks like we might be able to have our home study done by the middle of January and maybe even everything we need to have our dossier sent to the Philippines.  I'm not sure how quickly the Philippines is processing dossiers right now, but they are typically approved around 1-2 months.  Once we are approved we will receive our official match with Annabelle.  After we send them our match acceptance we start all the immigration paperwork.  Depending on how quickly all of that paperwork goes through, it will be between 3-6 months before we can travel to go pick Annabelle up.  If everything continues to go smoothly, then it looks like it will be early summer that we will be able to get her.  That still seems so far away, but I know that the time will go by very quickly and she will be here with us before we know it.

Meet Annabelle

We aren't allowed to post any pictures on the internet of her until we have gone to the Philippines to pick her up, so here is a drawing that Breanna did of her:

Her name will be Annabelle and she just turned one in September.  She goes by a different name in the orphanage, but Annabelle is her second given name and is what we have chosen to name her.  She is beautiful and perfect in every way except for one thing - she has no limbs.  She was born this way.  It is a very rare condition.  It will be a huge obstacle in her life and will also be quite a challenge for us, but we believe that she will grow up to do amazing things in her life despite this challenge, and we are so excited to get to be part of that.  We don't feel like we are a family that is qualified enough to care for a child with so many challenges, but we know we can love her.  We know, because we already love her, even though we have never met her.  We can love her unconditionally and give her a home where she will always know that she is loved by us and also by God.  We will do whatever we can to help her reach her full potential and to be happy.

When we first found her on the waiting child list my first thoughts were about what potential she would be capable of achieving being born with this disability.  I did some research on the internet to find others born this way.  The first one I came across was Nick Vujicic.  He was born in Australia with no arms or legs and is now a Christian motivational speaker.  I cried when I watched this video of him.  He is so inspirational:

After watching this and also hearing inspirational stories of others with similar conditions, I realized that Annabelle would be capable of so much more then I would ever have thought possible.  This is when our family seriously began to consider adopting her.  Joshua and Eva never needed any convincing.  They wanted her from the first time they saw her picture.  I remember having a talk with Joshua about her and telling him that she wouldn't be able to do a lot of the same things as him.  I asked if he still wanted her for a sister and he said "her have eyes, and her have ears - her can hear, and her have brains".  He was only thinking about what she would be capable of.  I wish we could all think that way.  Because Breanna is much older, she had some reservations about it, but after giving it a lot of thought she also wanted this little girl to be a part of our family.  Jason and I had some reservations in the beginning also, but we feel so strongly that she is our little girl that nothing else really matters.  I have no doubt that she is going to bring so much joy to our family as well as to so many others.  The name "Annabelle" actually means "joy" which is why I decided to title this blog "Our Path to Joy".  We are so excited that our journey to bringing her home has officially begun and can't wait for that day to get here!